Tag Archives: relationship

Toxic Relationship Woes

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Despite having relatively high self esteem, being involved in school activities, and having a decent group of friends, in my teens I went through a string of toxic relationships. I seemed to have a knack for picking out this type of friend or boyfriend; they did not make me a better person. When these relationships ended my self esteem would plummet, perhaps leading me to the next one. I can’t really explain why they started, why I kept the cycle going, or why they ended, but I have learned how to identify those who will bring me down instead of up, before I invest too much time and energy into the relationship. There was one relationship in particular where it took me a long time to figure out that their presence was bad for me, and an even longer time to remove them. Years later, I find myself in a position where I have to make the decision- let them back in or keep the door shut?

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When OCD Takes Over

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I grew up around OCD. My father had it quite bad, although my mother always assured me that it was better than it had been before I was born. We were never on time for anything and change was the enemy. At the age of 10 I noticed my first symptoms; I started having to touch things repeatedly and worried that if I didn’t bad things would happen. I also started to hoard things because I couldn’t bear to let them go. I recognized the problem quickly and vowed to “fix” myself. Within a couple of years the compulsions were gone. I had worked really hard and caught it early, so I thought I was cured. What I didn’t realize was that all the small things my dad had ingrained into my impressionable brain were going to be harder to brush off.

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