Tag Archives: OCD

Toxic Relationship Woes

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Despite having relatively high self esteem, being involved in school activities, and having a decent group of friends, in my teens I went through a string of toxic relationships. I seemed to have a knack for picking out this type of friend or boyfriend; they did not make me a better person. When these relationships ended my self esteem would plummet, perhaps leading me to the next one. I can’t really explain why they started, why I kept the cycle going, or why they ended, but I have learned how to identify those who will bring me down instead of up, before I invest too much time and energy into the relationship. There was one relationship in particular where it took me a long time to figure out that their presence was bad for me, and an even longer time to remove them. Years later, I find myself in a position where I have to make the decision- let them back in or keep the door shut?

toxic-brave2

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My OCD is on Vacation. Please Leave a Message

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My OCD has had it’s ups and downs over the course of my life, but it’s always been present in some form. In the past few years it’s been very manageable and it’s main manifestation is in my house. When I’m at home I’m extremely clean and everything (and I mean everything) has it’s place. Especially when I’m stressed I just can’t focus when things aren’t just as they are supposed to be. This can get difficult as I normally work from home.

In 2012, at Jay’s request, we moved to Cancun for a year. Jay is not a fan of the cold weather and is a huge fan of the ocean, so for the last two (Canadian) winters we’ve gone back to Cancun. We are currently here for the third time and I’ve noticed a change. Life in general is different here and our specific day to day activities are also different. We don’t have all the amenities that we have at home and we live in a very modest house. Things move slower and it’s impossible to keep things perfectly clean.

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Spinning My Wheels

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You know those moments in life when you know exactly what you have to do to be happy or to accomplish your goals, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it? Well, I’m having one of those weeks.

Let me back up just a little. As someone who’s struggled with OCD most of her life it should be no surprise that sometimes I have a hard time letting things go. My brain often moves a mile a minute and I can’t stop thinking about everything I don’t want to be thinking about. When I was young I’d often think about things I knew were “bad.” Whenever I was bored or had nothing else occupying my brain, the “bad” thoughts would creep in. Perhaps that is why in high school I was a part of about 7 different clubs and activities. I worried that they would never go away. But, over time, with some work, they left and have yet to return.

overthinking

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Is Reality TV Crossing the Line?

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When I was taking psychology 101 in university  I used to joke that they should use me as a guest subject. Perhaps it’s my experience with a variety of disorders that draws me to one of my guilty pleasures: TLC reality TV. I “enjoy” watching shows like Extreme Cheapskates, Extreme Couponing, My Strange Addiction, My Crazy Obsession and Hoarding: Buried Alive.

When I watch these shows I switch back and forth between being sympathetic and hopeful to being disgusted and sad. I understand why these shows gather a following- if they have enough shock value to surprise me, I can’t imagine what someone who doesn’t understand anxiety disorders or mental illness is thinking. From a business perspective these shows are gold. They don’t cost a lot of produce and they gain a following easily. But, this got me thinking about the moral side of it. Half of me thinks these shows are good for mental illness, while the other half thinks they are hitting the ethical rock bottom.

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