Tag Archives: family

Toxic Relationship Woes

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Despite having relatively high self esteem, being involved in school activities, and having a decent group of friends, in my teens I went through a string of toxic relationships. I seemed to have a knack for picking out this type of friend or boyfriend; they did not make me a better person. When these relationships ended my self esteem would plummet, perhaps leading me to the next one. I can’t really explain why they started, why I kept the cycle going, or why they ended, but I have learned how to identify those who will bring me down instead of up, before I invest too much time and energy into the relationship. There was one relationship in particular where it took me a long time to figure out that their presence was bad for me, and an even longer time to remove them. Years later, I find myself in a position where I have to make the decision- let them back in or keep the door shut?

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Father Doesn’t Always Know Best

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When you are young you think your parents are infallible. You look to them to tell you right from wrong and depend on them to lead you down the right path. Even as we age, and we start to realize that our parents are human, we still value their opinion over almost anyone else. It’s a hard notion to shake. But sometimes our parents are wrong.

When I was in university my father began to change. He gradually went from attentive, involved, and nurturing to distant, ambivalent, and mean. I can’t tell you exactly what happened, but I know it had something to do with the fact that my dad was having a hard time figuring out the whole “dating thing” after years of being alone. He began to act like a teenager: he didn’t tell us where he was going, he was always forgetting to get groceries, and he didn’t seem interested in his children.

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