Asthma Ninja

Most of the time my asthma is well controlled. Most of the time it doesn’t impact my day to day life that much. Which is really the way it should be- it’s what all doctors aim for. But it wasn’t always that way (especially at the beginning) and sometimes to this day my asthma sneaks up on me and goes into attack mode.  It usually happens after I’ve been exposed repeatedly to something that I know is a trigger like cigarette smoke or dander. In these situations I know I’ve been exposed and I wait nervously for my lungs to decide if they are in a good mood. While it often passes in a few hours or a day, if I’ve been exposed I know that it’s fairly likely it will trigger a flare up. I understand how it happened and I can deal with it. I’m used to it. But, sometimes my asthma is like a ninja. It comes out of nowhere and I end up winded, blindsided by an attack I didn’t see coming. This is the asthma I can’t stand.

Halloween Superhero

The first time I really understood what allergies were was when I got a large rash and swelling around my right eye; just like my dad, and his mother, I was allergic to chocolate. A few short years later my brother would receive the same diagnosis when he was rushed to hospital after accidentally ingesting some while at daycare. We were officially a chocolate free house. Children typically love chocolate and women typically love chocolate; I was a 0 for 2. Throughout my childhood I got a lot of sympathetic and surprised looks. At first I felt bad for myself but, to be honest, I didn’t really miss it that much as I’d never really gotten a chance to like it. The worst part about growing up with a chocolate allergy was that I often got left out at birthday parties and school events- the cake was always chocolate. However, these feelings all changed when I realized that I was a superhero: a Halloween superhero.

My Gut Reaction to Allergies

I was a dirty child. I spent a lot of time outdoors, I rarely washed my hands before eating, and I was not a picky eater. When using hand sanitizer became fashionable I refused to take part. I’ve always believed that there is such a thing as being TOO clean. And it appears that I might have been on to something! A new study shows that the presence of a certain gut bacteria  in mice can prevent or even cure food allergies.

“Environmental stimuli such as antibiotic overuse, high-fat diets, caesarean birth,removal of common pathogens and even formula feeding have affected the microbiota with which we’ve co-evolved. Our results suggest this could contribute to the increasing susceptibility to food allergies.”

Smoke and Mirrors

Last week I had my first kitchen fire.

I was chopping vegetables when I heard the the oil I was heating ignite. I turned my head and saw the flames. No problem I thought, I’ll just grab the lid. I turned to grab the lid from the drying rack, turned back towards the pot and saw that the flames had TRIPLED in size.

That’s when I started to panic. I called Jay. He managed to get the lid on the pot and the fire died down. But that was far from the end of the ordeal. The top third of the kitchen was full of dark smoke. The fire alarm started to go off. That’s when my usefulness ended. I had to go stand on the balcony to avoid having a serious asthma attack.

I am torn. Half of my feels wonderful that I have a man who will protect me and help me when I need it. I am so grateful that I have someone in my life that I know I can rely on. I felt like a princess. The other half of me feels useless and pathetic; I couldn’t take care of the situation on my own due to my asthma. There was so much smoke I was forced to abandon the problem, even though it’s completely against my nature.

I’m one of those people who is great under pressure. Move my stuff out of it’s “spot” or leave crap all over the house and my OCD will freak out on you. But, when it’s serious and important I’m calm and collected. I have first aid training from multiple sources and have lots of practical knowledge. So, it stung a little to have to give up control and walk away.

Is my tough girl persona just smoke and mirrors? Am I really strong or am I  just weak and needy? I used to think I could do anything I wanted to if I set my mind to it. Since developing asthma I’ve had to accept that sometimes I am limited. No matter how badly I want the smoke to not bother me, I can’t control my asthma. I’m no longer the 100% unrestricted woman I used to be, although sometimes I like to test that theory. I often push the boundaries of my asthma by doing things like cleaning a little longer than I should. I’m just not ready for a blanket “I can’t.”